How to Believe in Yourself

I am a regretful person.

Not only do people regret knowing me, but I also regret being myself.

And I've gone a long time believing that I'm the only one.

I know people regret their mistakes.

I am NOT the only one who stays up at night thinking, "WHAT HAVE I DONE?"

I've lived my whole life being bullied by fake people. They did not personally bully me, but they bullied me through their silence.

There needs to be...more honesty. So many of us make mistakes just because nobody else speaks out. We think if everybody else is perfect, we might as well just stick to our imperfections.

I have only longed for one moment:

a day,

where I get to look in someone's eyes,
and know,
someone's only asking for me.

That is understanding:

Someone who can see through all the mistakes you made and see beyond it.
Someone who can see through your own brokenness
And understand your brokenness
Because he's broken,
too.

"People are not good to each other,"
that's what Charles Bukowski said once.

And it's why I love him.

He never wanted admiration; he hated crowds.

He just wanted that one person to knock on his door,
and he would open,
and she would look into his eyes,
only asking for him.

But, I guess people are not good to each other,
So there's nowhere to turn.

This is why we fall apart.
This is why people don't belong to each other.
This is why we can't believe in ourselves.